Today, 15th of August, is a day that in many countries the Koimisis (=dormition in greek) of the Mother Mary, is celebrated. A thread leading us back to the Great Mother Goddess, an archaic symbol that has survived through the ages by chameleonically changing forms, to reach our so very interesting times, that mark the initiating recuperation of the position She deserves in our hearts.
This year, combined with a big bright full moon, this celebration invites us to accept the fact that feelings previously kept in the dark, are being released. It is the celebration of a symbolic death, the death of our old selves and the promise of our newness. However, for this newness to be manifested, we need to make a concrete, intentional effort that doesn’t only include our own personal matters, but also toxic patterns that have been passed on from generation to generation hindering the manifestation of our royal self and delaying our realisation.
I have been facilitating women’s circles since 2006. It is a task that has marked some years of deep, intense, challenging, grateful and fun teaching and learning. During that time, I have also experienced collaborations with different facilitators in the fields of art and spirituality and fused with different cultures, experiences that have reinforced a vision of a grounded idea of oneness in me, as applied in the so called experience of SISTERHOOD.
Let me clarify that in no manner am I excluding men from these reflexions. On the contrary, I believe, that a great part of disfunctional and suffering men, are coming from women who haven’t managed to stand up for themselves; who have not been brave enough to honour their strength and value. Many women have dedicated their lives perfecting the art of manipulation, choosing the indirect and flattering way to open their way to the so called power and success. They have emotionally castrated their children just playing the game of the patriarchal system out of a need to feel good and integrated.
We are going through an important transition. Most of us come from parents who belong to generations that have spent their lives around material possessions, safety, security, comfort, success in terms of competition and accumulation of degrees and titles, social recognition and inhuman discipline. Then we moved to the other extreme: the generations that followed them have a completely reactive attitude towards the previous patterns that is manifested as procrastination, avoidance of tasks that involve responsibility towards ourselves and others, being too permissive, childish in the sense of confusing freedom with doing whatever one pleases, difficulty of self sustainment and so on and so forth.
Many -though not all- of the sisterhood communities and sacred circles that are being created are, to a great extend, influenced by this second model which for me is crystal clear that is not working. I honestly thank all those women who have reacted this way to the deeply oppressive patriarchal system; looks like a necessary and natural step to go from one extreme to the other before harmony is established, but I don’t embrace this perspective.
Therefore, in my humble opinion, it is absolutely essential and fundamental for us, if we want to take that step ahead, to learn how to mother ourselves. To really awaken that mother aspect in us, starting from ourselves.
And talking about women getting together to support each other in our journey to honouring the sacred in and around us, here are some insights and qualities that I reinforce in the circles I activate, and wish to share with you. This is today’s offering to the Great Mother Goddess.
Up until now, it has been considered having the same vision as others enough in order to immediately join, collaborate and create an action, project etc. However, in most cases I know, this is not enough. One thing is having a vision and a completely different thing is how you serve it; that’s where many discrepancies start and that is why deep listening is important. The essential creation of the third party in an encounter of souls -that is the relationship- is not often created on the spur of the moment. That’s why collaborations and connexions that have started impulsively and even felt right at the beginning, most of the times, have a paradoxical ending or important frictions. How can you possibly claim to know the other, if you are still struggling in the deep waters of who YOU are? If you really respect yourself, if you really desire to meet your true fellow travellers, and if you really want to establish significant connexions that will give you fulfilment and spread kindness in the world, then learn to listen.
The sacred space that is created through deep listening is un-judgemental, contains no expectations and is not taking for granted that your opinion is necessary. That sacred space of listening is sacred because it can be healing in itself without you having to do absolutely anything. Just BE. It is a field of energy that evolves the participants making them feel safe, attended and at home.
So, if you want to enter that space of deep healing, put aside some expectations. You will really economise energy and time and permit the healing process to start even before you enter whatever circle or ask for a healer’s help (if you are brave enough, of course). Here are some attitudes that sabotage and some that reinforce sisterhood:
- Expecting to enter a circle where you will be the centre of attention by imposing your presence without respecting other´s right to share too.
- Expecting that others will assume the responsibility of your life and heart: the happy hippie new age mentality. Wounded children of 30, 40, 50 years old and more, still considering the family, society, men etc responsible for their “bad luck”.
- Confusing unconditional love with lack of boundaries. Saying NO when your gut feeling dictates, is an act of supreme love to yourself and others. You respect your soul´s boundaries and you offer others the respect and honesty to know you exactly as you are.
- Not being formal: Formality is a way of honouring the attention the others show to us by being punctual, responsive and efficient. By being present in our relations and collaborations not only when it comes to shining our talents, but also to doing boring work like paperwork (sending cvs, our workshop information etc.). That is also art and spirituality, the art of respect for all those who do the hard work of grounding the Vision that you also claim to be sharing.
- Over-idealisation of the vision. If you obsessively or naively stick to the vision, you will hardly be able to see it manifested and if you do, you will be too exhausted to enjoy the result.
- Do not expect to genuinely connect if you are still on survival mode. We all carry wounds. Give yourself time and honestly ask for help so that all the crust accumulated around your soul essence melts like metal under the pressure of the purifying fire; therefore, enter healing circles with humility.
- Honour your vulnerability. It is a gate to healing from patriarchal wound. Re-connect with your feelings and let them lead you to that point where pain becomes a purifying force that reignites the creative fire of your heart.
- Stop playing victim: the moment you blame others for your misfortune, it ´s a sign that you are still in that mode. Of course the acts of some people have hurt you, but if you concentrate on that, you give them power over you. No matter how hard this may be, use all the tools and power you can to shift your focus towards the energy that will uplift you to your royal essence.
- If you are a healer, priest, priestess etc, bare in mind that you also are a human being and you also need support, healing and love. We are not perfect (thank God and Goddess) and accepting that, can make us more compassionate towards ourselves and others. Look for help during turning points in your life. The universe is made of collaborative unities the same way as different groups of cells in our bodies perform different functions in unison.
- Speaking about Priestesses; calling yourself a priestess, just because you have put on some Cleopatra make up and a nice dress, doesn´t necessarily make you one. The archetype of the priestess is reviving in our times because it´s a medicine that brings together heaven and earth. It teaches us how to skilfully and naturally live between the two worlds, healing the wound that has been created by the polarity between patriarchy and reactive “emancipation”, described at the beginning of this article. One thing is our connection to the Priestess archetype as medicine and another issue is actually being an embodied Priestess.
- Show your physical support to those who need it, if you can, not only by just sending some prayers and blessings; they are welcome and effective but human touch and human presence are equally important.
- Support the strong spine of principles that your gut feeling/ soul dictates to you. This will function as a motor towards the vision of your full realisation. Support it with spiritual/creative practices that suit you, a good care of your body and a good community of fellow feelers, thinkers and doers.
- Beware of the pseudo-Gurus. One thing is to have teachers that inspire you towards your freedom and another that you become pray of whatever narcissist´s desire to gain followers, power and money.
My deepest wishes for gracefully moving towards a more substantial and mature Sisterhood
~ Dhanmeet Eirini Delaki
Today and every day, may each atom of your body dance to the rhythm of the spheres revealing the magnificence that you are to you and to all existence, and giving you the courage to BE the vastness of the untamed soul.
Desde una edad temprana me dediqué al arte y la espiritualidad, disciplinas que se convirtieron para mi vías de comunicar lo nuevo. Estudié literatura, arte dramático, kundalini yoga y percusión sagrada mediterránea. Fusiono estas disciplinas para crear performance, obras de teatro espiritual y talleres transformadores que tienen como objetivo restaurar trozos del alma colectivo para sanar y traer realización y dicha. He creado el Festival de Yoga Kundalini y Arte el 2013 que actualmente se celebra en Valencia-España .